Ever wonder how certain people just have a knack for bringing out the best in other people?

They know how to win people over, inspire them to help, or drive them to their greatest performance.  They naturally seem to appeal to people’s best instincts to be kind, generous, or hard working.

These are people you want to be around because you know you’re better when you’re in their presence.

So what exactly is the secret to how they do it?

Here are 7 ways to bring out the best in those you interact with, manage, or lead:


1)  Show interest and concern

People are naturally at their best when they sense that you truly care about their wellbeing and don’t have your own agenda.  Listen enthusiastically and patiently to whatever is going on for them.  Ask how people are doing and really care about their answer.  Don’t reach out to people only when you need something.  Know people’s names.  Try to see the world from their point of view and sense their challenges or pain.


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2)  Be yourself and show your humanity

People feel at their best when they feel comfortable being themselves.  By being more genuine and open about who you are and some of your flaws, you’ll build more trust and familiarity.  This in turn allows others to feel safe to open up, be more creative, and take risks.  The best directors in Hollywood know that when they give actors the space to feel comfortable taking risks with their performance, they bring out the best acting.


3)  Be an inspiration with your character

When you show qualities such as courage, generosity, fairness, and humility, people will naturally gravitate to you.  When they see you are a good person, it can inspire them to act in similar ways.  The classic examples of Mother Teresa, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King all led movements by role-modeling their kindness, compassion, and dedication.  Think about your best characteristics and display those in your daily interactions.


4)  Share your knowledge

Having more knowledge is always empowering.   The more you share what you know and give of your time and talent in a generous way, the more you are helping others be able to do more.   Make yourself available for questions in your areas of expertise.  If you learn some relevant new information, pass it on.   Be a valuable resource to others.


5)  Show optimism

Optimism breeds enthusiasm, confidence, and strength, and reduces fear.   When you have a positive outlook, you’ll attract more high-quality people around you and inspire others to be their best.   Be routinely upbeat and positive in your daily approach to life and interactions with others, so people come to know and trust that being with you will be a positive experience.



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6)  Set high (but achievable) standards

The most successful leaders know that a certain degree of challenge is needed to get people to rise to their best performance.   Have high, but realistic standards.  Show people that you expect quality and role model what “great” looks like.  Give people the vision and the motivation to get there.  Ask people, “How can we make it better?” or “What will make this truly exceptional?”


7)  Believe in others

People can sense if you don’t believe in them.  Keep the mindset that most people wake up wanting to succeed, not fail.  Believe that with the right skills and motivation, people will rise to the occasion.  Express your confidence and praise people when you see them doing something well.  Don’t come into interactions assuming the worst in someone or assuming they can’t or won’t do something.  Give people the opportunity to step up and shine.

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Raise your game and lead an exceptional life.


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