HOW TO DEAL WITH VOICES OF DOUBT
it’s not uncommon to have self-doubts, but how you deal with it drives your success.
In the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, homeless single father Chris Gardner (played by Will Smith) works as an intern stockbroker at a prestigious brokerage firm.
He struggles to meet the demands of the job, hide his personal situation from his employer, and take care of his son. His stress levels are high, and he sometimes loses his patience in several parenting situations.
But beyond the extreme hardship and struggle, the father’s character shines through when he teaches an unforgettable lesson to his son about dealing with self-doubt.
He says, “Don’t EVER let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.”
Wise words, but how do you really deal with the voices of self-doubt that come from within or from others?
Here are 4 ways to deal with doubt:
1) Just ignore or reject it as lacking validity
Depending on what the doubt is all about, the most prudent strategy may be to just decide it’s not true and move on. You may say to yourself, “There’s no evidence of this”, or “That’s just not true”.
Just because the seeds of doubt are planted in your head by yourself or someone else, that doesn’t make them valid. You may decide that the source of the feedback is someone you don’t trust or respect, or feel has ulterior motives, and so you discount the information.
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2) Replace the doubt with more empowering thoughts
Another strategy to deal with the doubt is to proactively use an empowering phrase when you feel the doubt seeping into your thoughts. You can use phrases such as “This isn’t going to happen”, or “I know what I’m doing”, or “Things always work out and they will this time too.”
3) Use it as fuel to persevere and prove the doubters wrong
Sometimes hearing others doubt you or hearing your own internal self-doubt can generate powerful motivation to succeed against the odds.
Think of the typical story of a parent saying, “You can’t do that”, and the teenager defiantly says “Oh yes I can!”
The trick is to tap into that energy to push through obstacles and show that people (or yourself) were wrong.
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4) Clarify why the doubt is there and use it as feedback to improve
One of the most powerful ways to deal with doubt is to use it simply as information. You take some of the emotional charge out of it and say, “OK, so how do I fix this or ensure that this doesn’t happen?”
When you make it seem less of a personal assault on your abilities or character, you can move into problem solving mode and find ways to improve or ensure success.
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